Last week I had my hair cut at a salon down the street from my house. I was just talking it up with the girl who was doing my hair and she told me that the blonde girl that works there is on Beauty and the Geek. I thought this was hilarious because she did my hair at previous visits. (no wonder she hooked me up) lol Its just a little surreal, not in a wow she’s famous lol, nope but more in a that’s weird and interesting. That’s how I like my life weird and interesting. Life hasn’t let up this theme anytime soon. Lol

My biggest revelation this year is that everything really means nothing, and I don’t mean this in a negative way at all. It seems that soo many people do things without even noticing how it will hurt or affect others. I used to be that person who got hurt but no longer.

I got tested this past weekend and Thank God, I wasn’t affected like I used to be in the past. I am happy and content!

Keep on, persevere, until the day breaks, and shadows flee away.

I recently saw the most interesting, most intriguing documentary this season. The documentary was simply about Sesame Street. So yes I say simply because I mean gosh it's Sesame Street but then it went complicated and interesting and... yes intriguing lol. It was centered around how Sesame Street could help war torn countries by helping restructure the children's mind. For example the Bosnian/Serbian battle, the team from Sesame Street wanted to help the Bosnian/Serbian issue by showing the children from both sides each others culture, by familiarizing these children with each other so they can become more understanding of each other. The people helping to bring Sesame Street to different countries around the world were so passionate and focused on making sure it makes a difference for everyone. I truly felt their passion and intensity.

A great man once told me (Ravi Star) that his mother does workshops on Racism and the biggest thing that kept racism going was segregation. Segregation, hmm makes me think of another war torn place, Israel.

I hurried through this I apologize because I am leaving out some beautiful things that were expressed in this documentary!

I love you all and know I understand and love all of you with all your differences, religion or otherwise!

I've noticed, lately how detached I have been! It feels sooo great!

It has actually been a long road to get to this place but now that I am here, I am never going to look back! : )

Love it!

Do you feel my energy?

Do you feel my heart beat faster when you are next to me?

Do you feel how much I care for you?

Do you feel the feelings, the feelings that will not come out of my mouth but are coming out of every inch of my body!

I can not, will not share that but I will share my energy, so feel that!

and know I care, I could love but will not, not now!

For now, feel that!

Do you feel that?

I've always known there was an artist within but because of the path my life has been going I have gone a completely different route than I expected (not a bad route mind you). There was actually a time where I was considering going to Columbia to explore what I would be great at. There's this love for music and art that makes my body quiver. There are soo many sides of me exuding itself through energy and excitement! The self expression that lives within has been inhibited. I was talking to some close friends recently, Lau and Jinous. We were talking about how boring it is to have a desk job. I can bare a lot of things because my tolerance for discomfort is high.

I love being a professional and being diligent about my work but I get in these quiet bouts and it scares me cuz it holds me back, hides me even. I want to say what my heart longs to say, I want to dance my heart out, be moved, inspired and even be a little vulnerable, owa scary! : )

I don't regret anything or any choice I have made. I'm actually really excited about my future! : )

I got a glimpse of real amazing self expression while living in the bowler house. Lau and I made music, explored indi films, cried, laughed, and made our hearts smile : )! IT WAS AMAZING!

On another topic, LOVE! I am getting closer and closer to compatibility and it feels great!

Work has been sooo interesting lately!

You'd be very surprised at the things that go on!

I would say more but its confidential lol.

I can say that I am in the process of receiving a certificate in Project Management. I'm really excited about this!

HAPPY DAY AFTER RIDVAN EVERYBODY!!! : ) WOOHOO, yesterday was awesome. I miss the House of Worship. I'm really glad I went! The HOW gives me sooo much energy, life, love and reminds me how much I love the faith!

I'm thinking of moving up there for the summer. Ahhaa down the street from the HOW, that would be my dream!

Late night walks to the How oowa yeahhhh!!! God Willing this works out!

I do this and it sucks. I want to just live and experience life but I am such an aggressive person that if I don't get something then I can't help but wonder why? What went wrong and so on. Being aggressive has gotten me most of the things have wanted but dam when I don't, my mind starts running with the why?

Any suggestion on how to overcome this? Hmmm? : )

This past weekend was the most jam packed and fun weekend I've had in a long time! Went to a battle of the bands, dancing, to an engagement party, family bbq, and the list can go on forevaaa!

The battle was funnn! I got to dance with the amazing Mia and good friend Shermi woohoo!

The Engagement party: I have never seen family members get down like these people did. The soon to be bride was half hispanic/half arab so the music was booty shakalicious (yes I just made up a word, you know you like it! lol).

Owa and I got to spend time with two of my good friends Chineze and Lauren. We rocked the late hours away with some delish quesadillas: ) mmmhmmm!

YAY FOR FUN : )

The most interesting thing happened to me yesterday! While at lunch at Potbelly’s there happened to be an amazing guitarist rocking out. I couldn’t help it but sit right next to him. This guy played some of my most favorite songs and he had a look of genuine, sweet and artistic qualities (Hot). So I tell my coworker that this guy is giving me butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t had butterflies in my stomach for a lonnnnngggg time! So mind you that he is just a couple of feet away, so my coworker is making fun of the googly eyes I’m giving him and guess what happened he heard that I was digging him. So out of nowhere he stops playing in the middle of his song and asks me about the book next to me that I have been reading, The Secret and we start a conversation. The Secret is basically about knowing your desires and asking the universe for it and it then becomes yours. So um yeah makes a lot of sense huh!?!

AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay I'm done!

As funny or strange as this may sound but life is good when you are going through struggles and when it is decision making time!

I have been trying my best to keep my thoughts happy and then no matter what I go through life is good!!! Lately I really have been striving to live a good and complete life!!!

I have to say it is hard with responsibilities (work, school, loved ones)hehehe I am about to quote Titanic- but life will go onnnnnnnn (singing here). hehehe

I was working as usual : ), when my boss came up to me and said "I need you to make a graph with all the payouts, property damage, percentage rates..and he went on further to say that I must have it done like now! Guess who it was for? Yeah, it just so happened it was for someone really important to the City of Chicago! I was sooo afraid that if I didn't do it right there goes my job!

Thank God it all came through and the info they wanted was ready to go in no time woohoo! A ton of bricks were lifted off of my shoulders.

Oh and Thank God I still have my job! Hehehehe

but you have no idea.

I find it sooo hard to let people know me, let them in, to let them know my likes and dislikes. It's even hard for me to show people what I'm passionate about. I guess it's just who I am. I get that but it is kinda getting a little too consistant when people keep telling me we still don't know you. This only happens with aquintances, which I have many of. This has been the theme of this month! I think more than anything it takes me time to trust people, thats why I don't let them know who I am and what I am about.

On friday was my sister's surprise party! Ah it was sooooo much fun! We were dancing on tables, had a candy fight after beating the pinata, lots of booty shakin and moving all around : ), the guys belly danced for my sister. Hehehehehe! I don't think I have ever had so much fun at a party!

Sholeh I wish you were here you would appreciate a party like this (fun)!

Lauren thank you soooooo much for the poster (CLUB FATIMA) : )!

I heart you!

So I am back from an insane trip to three countries! I came back soo excited and refreshed! I have this whole new perspective on my future but now I have to work hard to keep it! I noticed some of it was slipping away as each day passed. Prayers may be needed for this test : )!

Here I am in precious London! I am enjoying it a lot! There are punks, English accents and a beautiful melting pot of ethnicities. I love it so! If you think there are some awesome things to do in Chicago, you have seen nothing yet.

Central London is full of theatres, tons of cafes, restaurants and very excited people in the streets. Then there is Camden Town, filled with punks and alternative people who are soo chill and easy to talk to and hang out.

Now the weird part of London is the CCTV. CCTV is basically the government video taping every corner and street. Creepy huh?

Espana tomorrow AAAAAHHHH! Can you tell I'm excited ; )